Sobering thoughts

So that’s it. 31st January, and it’s over. We’re done.

No, not the UK’s membership of the EU – that's too raw to write about, and I'm too sad to – but dry January. Like millions, I did it, and have gone a whole month without a drop of alcohol.

I do dry January most years, not to jump on a boozeless bandwagon, but because I genuinely find it beneficial to offset the excesses of Christmas, and my lifestyle generally, with a month – or as much of a month as I can manage – of abstinence. It’s long been a running joke with my best friend, who took a First in anatomy from Glasgow University, that my liver - which I have checked regularly – defies medical science, always testing ‘fine’; I put this down at least in part to dry January, so I’m a fan. Many aren’t, and that, like my liver, is fine too – you do you.

You learn a lot when you’re not drinking, and it’s the lessons which are relevant to hospitality which I want to share here. As an industry which relies to a great extent on the sale and consumption of alcohol to survive, dry January is about as welcome as an outbreak of e. Coli. But it’s also an industry which is about giving people what they want, and I think there are some areas where we’re failing to do that.

The first is that the choice in non-alcoholic drinks is still, in so many restaurants, pubs and bars, limited to not much more than the tired triumvirate of water, cola and juice. One or two of these in a sitting is fine, but there are only so many diet Cokes (why not the much nicer, but much less widely-available, Coke Zero?) one can drink in one sitting without becoming very bored. The trendier alternatives – infusions, tonics, shrubs, kombucha and the like – are starting to break through, but are a very long way from being ubiquitous.

By way of mitigation, I’ve spoken to many operators who all say that to turn a profit on ‘posh pops’ they’d have to charge a price that punters won’t stand, so they either have to take a hit on the cost or stick to familiar, and profitable, post-mixes on tap. I’m sympathetic to this, but I also think that consumers would be happier to have more choice than less, and increased demand would surely push prices down over time.

Don’t even get me started on the new wave of alcohol-free spirits, which while delicious, cost the same as or more than actual spirits - a huge disincentive to drinking less alcohol. Yes, they’re costly to produce, package and promote, but they don’t have duty on them either, and besides which, two of the best-known are owned by one of the world’s largest distillers so it’s hard to shed too many tears over them needing to recoup their R&D costs.

The last and to my mind most serious way in which we’re letting non-drinkers down though is in the language we use and how we behave towards them, whatever the time of year and whatever their reasons may be (which, it shouldn’t need to be said, are absolutely none of anyone’s business but their own.) I lost count of the number of times this month that someone said, “Are you sure? Not even the one?” or made a crack about doing “dry GINuary” or “dry Martini January” or otherwise gave the impression that drinking was somehow more desirable than not.

Whatever someone’s reason for not drinking, whether it’s for a month, or a night, or for life, it’s a choice that should be respected, not challenged, mocked or plain ignored. Bartenders, if someone orders a Virgin Mary please don’t say, “Are you sure you don’t want a Bloody Mary?” – they know what they’ve ordered, just bloody make it. And – first-world problem klaxon! – if you’re a maitre d’ or manager kindly wishing to give someone a welcome drink on the house, take a second to ask what they’d like as that drink, instead of automatically bringing a glass of Champagne.

Tomorrow is February 1st and I can already taste the very dry, very cold vodka Martini I’m going to enjoy before dinner; my month is done, my liver rested for another year. Until next dry January, I’ll be keeping a watchful and interested eye on what, as an industry, we do to make eschewing alcohol that much easier, for everyone.